Kangangeenkulungwane ezininzi, abantu bebesenza ukucamngca ukuze bazive bebhetele emizimbeni, engqondweni nasemoyeni. Ukuba ufuna ukuzama uhlobo lokucamngca olukwenza uzive wonwabile kwaye uzikhathalele ngakumbi wena nabanye, kuya kufuneka uzame ukucamngca ngobubele bothando.
Olu hlobo lokucamngca lukunceda ukuba ugxile kwiimvakalelo ezilungileyo, njengothando kunye nemfesane, kuwe nakwabo bakungqongileyo. Inokukunceda ukuba ube nolwazi ngakumbi ngeengcinga kunye neemvakalelo zakho, ezinokwenza ubudlelwane bakho bomelele kwaye bube buhle ngakumbi.
Ngokuqhelisela ukucamngca ngobubele bothando rhoqo, unokuyiphucula indlela ozijonga ngayo isiqu sakho nendlela onxulumana ngayo nabanye.
Yintoni Ukucamngca Ngobubele Bothando?
Ukucamngca Ngobubele Bothando (LKM), okwakwaziwa ngokuba yi-“metta” kulwimi lwasemntla-Indian isiPali, luqheliselo olugxile ekuphindaphindeni iziqinisekiso ezakhayo kunye nokuhlakulela iimvakalelo zothando. Isekelwe kwisithethe samaBhuda, olu kucamngca lujolise ekugxotheni iingcinga ezingalunganga ngokukhokelela ingqalelo kwiimvakalelo zobubele bothando kubo bonke abantu abaphilayo. Ngokungafaniyo nezinye izinto ezicamngcayo, alukho “usukelo” lukhethekileyo lokucamngca ngobubele bothando; kunoko, kugxilwe ekubeni ubekho ngokupheleleyo kwinkqubo eqhubekayo.
Kwabaqalayo, ukucamngca ngobubele bothando kubandakanya ukuphindaphinda amagama akhuthazayo kunye neemvakalelo ezakhayo ezijoliswe kuye. Oku kunokuquka ukuvakalisa iminqweno yempilo entle noxolo kuwe nakwabo ubathandayo. Ukwamkela uqheliselo oluqhelekileyo lwe-LKM lunikeza indlela esebenzayo yokuchasana noxinzelelo lwengqondo kunye nomzimba ngelixa ukhuthaza ingqondo ephilileyo eqhubela phambili kubomi bemihla ngemihla. Ngolu kucamngca, abantu banokuyongeza impilo-ntle yabo, bakhuthaze ukomelela ngokweemvakalelo, kwaye babe negalelo kumbono onethemba ngakumbi wobomi.
Iingenelo Zokucamngca Ngobubele Bothando
Ukucamngca ngobubele bothando kuzisa iingenelo ezininzi. Njengezinye iintlobo zokucamngca, kusebenza ngcono xa kusenziwa rhoqo. Kwaneeseshoni ezimfutshane zinokuzisa imiphumo emihle xa zisenziwa rhoqo. Nazi iingenelo ezintathu zokucamngca ngobubele bothando:
1. Ukuzithanda Okungakumbi Nokuthanda Abanye:
Ukucamngca ngobubele bothando kugxininisa ekuthandeni wena nabanye ngokunzulu. Olu hlobo lokucamngca lunceda ngeemvakalelo zokuzigxeka kunye namathandabuzo. Xa uziqhelanisa novelwano, kuba lula ukubonisa uvelwano kwabanye, kuquka abo ubakhathaleleyo kwanabantu ongabazi kakuhle.
Ngokutsho kukaSharon Salzberg, ingcaphephe yokucamngca ngobubele bothando, iingcinga nezenzo zobubele zifak’ isandla ekubeni nemvo yokulunga. Ezi mvakalelo zilungileyo zomeleza unxibelelwano lwentlalo, ukwakha uluntu, kunye nokuxhasa impilo-ntle yengqondo.
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2. Ukuphuculwa kweMpilo yoMzimba:
Ukucamngca akuncedi ingqondo kuphela; inokuphucula impilo yomzimba. Izifundo zibonise ukuba ukucamngca kunokunciphisa intlungu engapheliyo, ngakumbi intlungu emva. Ukongezelela, ukucamngca ngobubele bothando kunokubangela ukuba umntu aphile ixesha elide. Iindlela zokunciphisa uxinzelelo ezisekelwe kwingqondo ziye zadibaniswa nokunciphisa imiphumo yomzimba yokuguga.
3. UkuPhuculwa kweMpilo yeNgqondo:
Ukubandakanyeka kwimikhwa yexesha elide yokucinga, njengokucamngca ngobubele bothando, kunokukhokelela kwimpilo yengqondo engcono. Uhlolisiso lubonisa ukuba ukucamngca rhoqo kukhulisa iimvakalelo zobubele, ukulingana, ulwaneliseko novelwano kubomi bemihla ngemihla.
Ezi mvakalelo ezintle zinokunceda ukunciphisa iimpawu zokudakumba kunye nokuxhalaba. Enyanisweni, ukucamngca ngengqondo kuthathwa njengolona ngenelelo lusebenzayo kukhathalelo lwempilo yengqondo.
Amanyathelo Alula Okuqalisa Ukucamngca Ngobubele Bothando
Ukuba ufuna ukuzama ukucamngca ngobubele bothando kodwa uzive ungaqinisekanga ukuba uqale phi, landela la manyathelo alula. Unokuhlengahlengisa uqheliselo lwakho ngokuhamba kwexesha ukuze luhambelane nezinto ozikhethayo kwaye ulwenze lube yinxalenye yesiqhelo sakho.
1. Isebe ngaphandle
Phulaphula kwaye uphucule unxibelelwano lwakho lwentlalo ngokucamngca ngobubele bothando. Olu qheliselo aluphuculi impilo-ntle yakho kuphela kodwa lomeleza nolwalamano lwakho nabanye. Qala ngokwamkela ukwamkelwa ngokugqibeleleyo kwaye ngokuthe ngcembe wandise ukugxila kwakho kwabo ubathandayo kukucamngca kwakho kunye nokuzilolonga.
Sebenzisa iziqinisekiso zomlomo ukubonisa iminqweno yentlalontle kunye nokuzaliseka kwabahlobo kunye nosapho. Njengoko uhlakulela le ngqondo ilungileyo, uya kufumana unxibelelwano olunzulu kunye nabo bakungqongileyo, ukukhuthaza uthando kunye nobubele.
Olu qheliselo lulula alugcini nje ukukhulisa ulonwabo lwakho kodwa lukwanegalelo ekudaleni uluntu olunovelwano ngakumbi nonxibelelwano.
2. Yenza iNdawo eNtofotofo yokucamngca
Fumana indawo ezolileyo yokucamngca ngemeta, umkhuba owaziwa ngokuguquguquka. Ungayenza naphi na, qinisekisa ukuba indawo oyikhethileyo ikhululekile kwaye ayinaziphazamiso.
Olu hlobo lokucamngca lujikeleza ububele bothando kwaye lunokwenziwa uhleli okanye ungqengqe. Qala ngokugxila ekuphefumleni kwakho, emva koko uqondise iimvakalelo ezifudumeleyo kuwe nakwabanye. Lo mkhuba unceda ukuhlakulela imfesane, ukunciphisa uxinzelelo kunye nokukhuthaza impilo-ntle.
Ke, nokuba usekhaya, usemsebenzini, okanye ungaphandle, krola indawo ezolileyo yokucamngca ngemeta. Indawo enoxolo iphucula ukusebenza kobu buchule, ikuvumela ukuba uzintywilisele ngokupheleleyo kumava kwaye uvune izibonelelo zengqondo ezolileyo kunye nentliziyo enovelwano.
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3. Yabela Ixesha Elizinikeleyo
Qinisekisa ukuba uzigcinele ixesha elithile suku ngalunye ukuze uziqhelise ngokucamngca ngobubele bothando (LKM) ngaphandle kokuphazamiseka. Eli xesha libalulekile ekugxileni kwiingcamango ezakhayo kunye nokuhlakulela isimo sengqondo esinovelwano.
Kubalulekile ukwenza indawo ezinikeleyo kwindlela yakho yemihla ngemihla apho unokugxila kuphela kuqheliselo lwakho lwe-LKM. Oku kunokubandakanya ukufumana ikona ethe cwaka, ukubekela bucala imizuzu embalwa, kunye nokuqinisekisa iziphazamiso ezingephi.
Ngokwenza ixesha le-LKM, ubeka phambili impilo-ntle yakho yengqondo kunye nophuhliso lobubele kuwe nakwabanye. Olu hlengahlengiso lulula kwishedyuli yakho yemihla ngemihla lunokuphucula kakhulu ukusebenza kokucamngca kwakho, kukuvumela ukuba ube namava okuxhamla kwengqondo kunye novelwano kubomi bakho bemihla ngemihla.
4. Qala ngokucotha
Abaqalayo kufuneka bathathe kancinci xa beqala ukucamngca. Isenokubonakala isoyikisa ekuqaleni. Qala ngemizuzu nje embalwa, uze ulengeze ngokuthe ngcembe ixesha lokucamngca. Ukulandela ukucamngca okukhokelwayo kunokuba luncedo.
Ezi seshoni zikhokelwayo zikuxelela ixesha omele uphefumlele ngalo ngokunzulu, uphindaphinde izenzo okanye iingcamango ezithile, okanye unikele ingqalelo kwiingcamango ezithile. Oku kunokukunceda uhlale ugxile kwaye wenze ukuziqhelanisa nokucamngca kwakho kube mnandi.
5. Ukuvumelana kungundoqo
Ukungaguquguquki ngundoqo ekufumaneni izibonelelo ezipheleleyo zokucamngca ngobubele bothando, obunokuphucula kakhulu impilo yakho yonke. Ukuziqhelanisa nolu hlobo lokucamngca rhoqo kubalulekile kwimpembelelo enkulu. Ngokuhamba kwexesha, uya kubona iimvakalelo eziphakamileyo zothando kunye nemfesane zityhutyha ubomi bakho bemihla ngemihla, zidlulela ngaphaya kwamaxesha okucamngca okusebenzayo.
Olu qheliselo lulula, xa lusenziwa rhoqo, luba sisixhobo esinamandla ekukhuthazeni iimvakalelo ezakhayo ezihlala imini yonke. Ke, zibophelele kwiiseshini eziqhelekileyo, kwaye uya kubona inguqu entle kwindlela uthando nemfesane ezibonakala ngayo ebomini bakho.
6. Sebenzisa iziQinisekiso eziqinisekileyo
Ziqhelanise nokuqinisekiswa okuqinisekileyo ukuphucula impilo yakho. Nje ukuba ugxile kweli xesha langoku, phefumlela phezulu kwaye uthethe amazwi othando, akhuthazayo ngokuvakalayo. Qala ngeziqinisekiso ezilula ezinje ngokuthi “Ndiphilile, ndisempilweni, ndikhuselekile,” kwaye uzenze ngokwezifiso njengoko kufuneka.
Esi siko kunceda ukukhuthaza ukucinga okulungileyo, ukukhuthaza ukulungelelana kwengqondo kunye neemvakalelo. Iziqinisekiso zomeleza ukuzikholelwa kwaye zinokulungiselelwa ukujongana neendawo ezithile zobomi bakho. Yamkela esi siqhelo rhoqo ukuhlakulela imbono enethemba ngakumbi, igalelo kwimpilo yengqondo ngokubanzi kunye nokomelela. Khumbula, amandla wamagama akhuthazayo anokuba nefuthe elikhulu kwingqondo yakho kunye namava emihla ngemihla.
Shiya iMpendulo